My family and I have been now under quarantine/lock-down since March 15, so it has been roughly 7 weeks. Its been a whirlwind of emotions, from feeling OK with the idea, to feelings of anxiety and fear, to acknowledging the nostalgia behind driving a car and traveling to another place to sight see. It has forced us to appreciate a drive to grandma’s house, or the beauty of a church, even the hectic routine of being a mom and a teacher, and even my children miss going to school to see their friends.

But with going into lock-down, and after going to the overly informed stage, to the comedic meme stage, to just despise all type of Facebook media altogether, I’ve entered the YouTube world. Now don’t get me wrong, I’ve been watching YouTube for quite a while, following organizing videos, financial videos, even cat behavior videos. But not as often I’ve been intrigued to watch cooking and how-to videos. Until now. Who knew?

Now, as a basic background check of myself I love to study and learn, you can call me a bookworm of some sort. The classroom setting challenges me to upgrade my general knowledge and curiosity. But I am a horrible cook. I despise the kitchen; during most of my life I basically avoided cooking altogether. Takeout was the method of choice, you name it pizza, pasta, burgers, nuggets, fries, and the occasional “gourmet Chinese” food. I can only make a decent yellow rice with beans, vienna sausages or vegetables and corn, and I say decent because I have tasted more savory versions of the recipe.

So, soon after the first lock-down order, we had a curfew from 9pm to 5am. It was my mother’s birthday and we celebrated with her and left around 8pm. And since we were on schedule, we decided to eat an ice cream through the drive-thru, since the restaurant was no longer open. Around a week later, we woke up with the news that the restaurant closed because an employee tested positive for COVID-19. That was a huge red flag on my part, since it was the first time that I saw the dangers behind other people making food. Will it deter me from not ordering takeout ever again? Probably not, but it made me extra careful for what I put in my family’s mouths.

So, experimenting in the kitchen happen. And from the title of this blog, I can say that it hasn’t come without its fair share of failures. Now my husband has mastered fried and boil recipes, from homemade french fries with skin, to Dominican mangú, which is delicious! In my case, I took on baking. Oddly enough, baking. It even surprises me. So far, I started with store-bought pizza dough, and cake mixes to have the occasional pizza and cake. And although it isn’t major commercial brands, I know what I put in, and I am conscious in to what we are eating. Then, when I couldn’t find the pizza dough, my research brain came into play, and bought all purpose flour and baking powder. And suddenly the game changed.

YouTube was my go-to on how to make pizza dough without yeast (which I haven’t been able to find yet), to homemade pancakes, to baking chocolate chip cookies from the Nestle’s chocolate chip bag and recently today, baking bread. Now, what have I learned with this new art (wouldn’t call it a hobby just yet):

1. Failure is in the eyes of who identifies as such. What does this mean? Cooking is not much an innate gift, but more like a constant practice talent (like playing a piano). If I would have given up (and I was almost about to) when my pizza dough was still too dry and my husband wanted to help and shed some light, I would have been more self-conscious and triggered. Instead, even if I got frustrated, I tried again, using different techniques.
2. Memories are created and reinforced in the kitchen. One thing that I didn’t expect when starting this is how involved my children would be while I was trying to make a meal. From my son washing rice before stewing it, to my daughter asking “can I help?” while adding dry ingredients, I realized that I am creating positive memories in their hard drive, even if it doesn’t taste as great at the end. And creating memories in children is a huge plus during this period.
3. You will have a sense of accomplishment, even if it didn’t come out as planned. I ran out of sandwich bread this morning, so I decided to search for bread recipes on YouTube. Although, it didn’t look like what was on the video, and I messed up on a part of the recipe, it came out pretty good, and my son loved it! It also happened with my “less than perfect” chocolate chip cookies. Just the sense of trying something new makes it worthwhile.

Now, back to the article, how has this helped me in my daily routine? Well honestly, I have had a very negative outlook on my teaching duty this semester. I felt like a failure, over stressed on the amount of time to accomplish tasks, and with no overall hope on how to ever finish it all. After the analogy of baking, I realized that the circumstances have changed, and I probably shouldn’t be so hard on myself for trying to accomplish the skills for the school year. I need to focus on what my immediate family and parents need, and try to help them the best way I can. And even if the experience didn’t meet with the expectation of a perfect end of the school year, I am not a failure in what I do. I just need to adjust the recipe towards the following school year.

Have a wonderful, safe and productive day!